


Don't Dream It, Be It

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 06:59:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jared's owner dies, he's sold to Jensen Ackles, the man who's known for being extremely cruel to his slaves. But is that really the truth? Or is Jensen actually a kind, sweet man who helps the slaves become free again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Dream It, Be It

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/62061.html?thread=18870381#t18870381) prompt over at spnkink-meme.

Jared doesn’t remember his mother. He distinctly remembers her scent (flowers during the day and herbs when she kissed him goodnight), but her face faded away and he can’t see it anymore. She died when he was too little to remember faces. He just knows she was sweet, caring and he likes to imagine she was beautiful.

Jared doesn’t really remember his father either. He was seven when Jerry Padalecki died (with the official cause of death being heart attack) and he found himself in an unfamiliar house. Through the following years, he understood what happened. The person taking care of him wasn’t his uncle or another family member – it was a man Jared had seen his father work with.

His name was Peter Ronald and the truth was, he didn’t feel sorry for Jared. No, that’s now why he ended up in Mr. Ronald’s house at all.

Of course, Jared had hard time adjusting to all the work he was told to do. He thought he had to listen to Ronald’s orders to show how grateful he was. It was only when he was old enough to link some things together (and also when he heard two other people living in the house talking about the issue).

It was kind of hard to process the fact that Jared was a slave. It took him months to admit this to himself, and he was only fourteen. He realizes now that this was obvious the whole time, but when you’re seven or a bit older, it’s easy to ignore some things. Like the fact that Ronald has never spent any time with Jared. The small room Jared was given, shady and messy and a bit smelly. All he ever heard from the master of the house were orders, and all he ever got were slaps if he misbehaved badly or screwed something up. 

The only person who was actually taking care of him was Genevieve, a woman in her thirties who was a slave at the Ronald household as well. 

“Why am I here? I’m an orphan, shouldn’t I be in an orphanage?” he asked her one day, at the time when he was going through the worst stage of puberty. He wanted to run away, or even better, disappear completely.

“You’d be happier there, I guess,” she commented bitterly and put her hand on Jared’s shaky shoulder. “Do you really want to know, kid? Aren’t you a bit young for that?”

“Tell me,” he insisted, although he wasn’t quite sure what the explanation was going to be. 

Genevieve sighed. “It’s all because of your father. You know he worked with our master, right? And, well, he borrowed a lot of money from Mr. Ronald, but he never paid back. When he died, all that was left were you. And so Mr. Ronald took you and now he owns you. You’re the borrowed money, my dear.”

Jared wasn’t courageous enough to ask Genevieve how she ended up here. But considering that Mr. Ronald called her, “Gen, babe”, he assumed she wasn’t there just to work for him.

In the end, Jared was lucky to dust every room twice a week. Yes, he was lucky indeed.

*

Jared can’t say, though, that Ronald is an awful person in every aspect, no. At the age of eighteen, he still kind of dreams about freedom and running away, but he realizes that he could have ended up in hands of someone who would want to use him in other ways.

Maybe that’s why sheer panic washes over Jared when Peter Ronald follows his father to the land of the dead. It’s completely unexpected – a car accident caused by a drunken driver and their master is gone. They’re shaken, and afraid. Every slave Ronald ever bought or won at a poker game is well aware that the worst could come now.

And Jared can’t sleep at night, just like when he was little. 

He misses his mother and the hatred he used to feel for his father a few years ago is back again, hitting him fiercely. What is going to happen now? Will he be lucky again? Or…

*

Logically, Jared’s never been to an auction. Not as a buyer, God forbid (he knows, though, that Ronald sometimes sent one of his slaves to an auction like this to bring someone new for him), and not as an offered slave either.

He feels like a piece of meat, not even human. Especially after he’s forced to wear just pants, no shirt whatsoever. He’s just glad he’s not handcuffed, though – there are a few slaves chained like that. And hell, he might be brainwashed, but he’s pretty sure that human trafficking is illegal. Yet, here they are, all Ronald’s slaves, waiting to be sold again. The fear and panic even grows when there’s a rumor saying that Jensen Ackles is present tonight. Jared is confused at first, not sure what to think as he’d never heard the name before.

In the quiet room full of other slaves, he shuffles closer to Gen and nudges her in the shoulder so she would acknowledge that he’s there. 

“Who’s Jensen Ackles?” he asks dumbly and Gen hisses almost as if he swore.

She looks Jared up and down, then, a worried expression on her face. “Just – You don’t want him to buy you. That’s all.”

Jared bites his lower lip and furrows his brow. “What do you mean? Is he, like, bad or something? Does he hurt his slaves? What is it?” He’s babbling and he knows it, but the anxiety has made its call and is now visiting Jared’s brain.

Genevieve simply nods. “Yes, he is the bad kind of master,” she explains and then leans closer to finish her small speech. “Rumor has it that no one ever stays. He buys new slaves every other week, because the others just disappear. No one knows if he… if he kills them or if he just keeps them somewhere hidden, but… He looks cruel. He sounds cruel. I don’t – Jay. I wish we could stay together.”

Jared nods hesitantly, not being able to form an actual sentence. Something, something like a rope squeezes around his neck when he thinks about this mysterious man. And something, something like a pitch-black feeling tells him that Jensen Ackles is going to choose Jared as his new toy.

*

Jared’s trying his best so he wouldn’t shake as he steps out into the light. There’s a man standing beside him, probably to prevent him from running away, and he places his arm over Jared’s naked shoulder as a warning.

He’s not really paying attention. He’s too overwhelmed with everything – Ronald’s death, parting ways with Genevieve and others, being here and being sold. Yes, as a piece of meat. He can’t help but feel that way.

Jared’s young and he’s been told that he’s kind of pretty. He keeps his hair short and he’s not very muscular – he still looks like a boy with his collarbones standing out. He doesn’t consider himself good looking; probably because no one’s ever showed any actual interest in him. That’s why he’s surprised when he finally starts paying attention and he realizes a couple of buyers are arguing and saying numbers so high that it makes Jared’s head spin. He can’t believe the final prize (over four thousand dollars, how is that even real?), but he also can’t believe what he hears the auctioneer say.

“Sold to Jensen Ackles for four thousand three hundred dollars. Pick your slave up at the backroom when the auction’s over.”

And so, this is it. This is it, Jared thinks as they lead him back to the rest of the slaves. Just a few more minutes or an hour if he’s lucky, and then he will be thrown into hell. He knew this would happen – yes, somehow he knew. 

He’s numb when Genevieve rushes to him and asks who’s bought him. He’s only partially aware of opening his mouth and giving her an answer, and he doesn’t really hear the gasp that escapes her mouth.

Their goodbye seems painfully final. It’s likely that they won’t see each other ever again, which is like losing his mother over again. But it also carries a strange, sad feeling with it, like they’re saying goodbye because Jared’s going to die. And maybe he is.

*

Jared can’t decide whether it’s good that it’s not Jensen Ackles who picks him up in the backroom or not. He’s terrified of meeting that person, but he’s not sure he can handle all that _not knowing_. He’s pretty much ready to beg someone to off him by the time someone leads him to his new room.

His new room, well – Jared can’t possibly compare it to the little nest he had back at Ronald’s house. There’s one bed with nice sheets that actually look clean and comfortable. The lights are on – there’s one lamp on the nightstand, one in the corner of the room and one attached to the ceiling. The carpet looks like it would caress his skin if he was barefoot. And he’s sure that if he wasn’t so scared and actually opened the closet standing across the room, he would find lots of nice clothes in there.

He doesn’t dare to move, though. He remains standing in the middle of the room. The only movement he manages to make with his shaky body is turning around so he’s facing the door.

Minutes pass by and nothing happens – Jared starts to doubt Jensen Ackles will show up at all. He’s just considering covering himself in the sheets dressed like he is when there’s a soft knock on the door. The person doesn’t wait for an answer, as if it was really just a polite gesture, and then the door creaks open. 

From the brief moment where Jared saw his new owner’s face, he can tell that this is Jensen Ackles. His suit, hair and the way he just _looks_ at Jared give him away as well.

Jared’s breathe hitches in his throat and he fights the urge to take a few steps back. It’s almost impossible to describe how terrified he is – he’d come a long way from oblivion to realizing he’s a slave and he’s definitely not ready to meet a new master. Especially if it’s a cruel, awful one – Jensen’s features, still and tough, hint that as well as the rumor does. 

“I’m glad you’re not in bed yet,” Jensen Ackles says and Jared is surprised to notice that the strong, raw voice from the auction is gone and replaced by a softer one. “I’d hate to have you toss and turn – I’m aware of my reputation and I’m glad we can have this talk before you go to sleep.”

Jensen Ackles doesn’t seem to be surprised or taken aback by Jared’s silence. And really, even if Jared didn’t know he’s supposed to shut the fuck up until someone asks him to speak, he would still be silent. It’s like his lips are glued together; it’s just him and his huge, deer eyes staring at the man in front of him. He’s getting confused with the situation – Jensen Ackles is talking nonsense and he still keeps the distance between them, leaning against the door with his back.

Jensen Ackles nods and hums before he continues. “You’re really pretty,” he states with a sigh in the end and finally closes the gap between them. Jared gasps, thinking _okay, so here it is_. “I don’t know your history. Tell me all your previous owners and how you ended up here.”

Jared drops his gaze, jerking when Jensen Ackles reaches out and brings Jared’s chin back up with his forefinger. He still refuses to look at his master, though, staring at his shoulder instead. “Peter Ronald. My father died, and then Ronald took me. He was my only master. He died and then… the auction h-happened.” He blinks a few times, hating himself for stuttering so stupidly, hoping it wouldn’t get him a slap.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Jensen Ackles says in a tone that doesn’t convince Jared at all. “You’re safe here. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Jared almost snorts, but then he remembers everything Gen has ever taught him and keeps his lips pursed. 

“You’re not here to be tamed,” Jensen Ackles explains and trails his fingers down Jared’s jaw. Really, his mouth says something completely different than his fingers do, and Jared’s eternally confused. “Truth is, the reason I buy so many slaves is that I let them go. I try and teach them how to live on their own and then I make sure they’re in another state, and _free_.”

_That’s bullshit,_ Jared thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. It somehow must reflect on his face anyway, because Jensen Ackles smirks.

“I know it’s much to understand, but you’re not mine. I don’t own you. You’re your own person. Understood?”

Jared finally meets Jensen Ackles’ eyes and even though he doesn’t believe it one single bit, he nods. “Yes, sir,” he answers quietly.

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Jensen Ackles mutters and finally pulls his hand away, taking a step back. “What I’m trying to achieve is to make you stop using ‘sir’. We’re going to see each other every day and we’re going to work on freeing you from everything you’ve known up until now. And I just really, really want you to believe that I’m not going to hurt you and that I don’t want you to call me ‘sir’ or ‘master’. Call me Jensen or even douchebag if you want to, as long as it’s your own decision.”

Jared involuntarily narrows his eyes and cautiously looks Jensen Ackles up and down, trying to do so as unpretentiously as possible. 

He really wants to believe this all. In the end, he’s grown up wishing he would meet someone who will set him free. But wishes are one thing and reality is something different entirely. It’s more likely that this Jensen Ackles is a psycho who makes his slaves believe all this shit and then punishes them cruelly. 

He bites down on his lower lip and bowing his head, he decides to just go for it. If he’s right, he’ll get slapped or beaten or gagged – but if he’s wrong, he will get kind words, maybe a reassurance; something he could trust.

“Why the hell would you waste thousands of dollars on slaves you let go? Are you a billionaire or something?” he asks in the most disrespectful voice he manages.

Jensen Ackles snorts. “I am, actually. My father left me lots of money, and this is, in my opinion, the best way to use them.”

Jared hesitantly looks up at this and meets his not-owner’s eyes. He’s surprised to see a strange spark in that stare and is even more surprised to sub-consciously return it. He’s still on the edge of believing all this; still too scared to ask more questions, yet too hopeful to doubt it too much. His doubts are bearable – Jared almost smiles when he falls for the man’s words, deciding to believe them.

“I can – is it – Can I leave tomorrow?” Jared asks, quietly this time. He feels like running his fingers through his hair and pacing the room, trying to calm his excitement – but he holds it all back and just swallows dryly, blinking. 

Jensen Ackles shakes his head, but continues before Jared can panic. “Not tomorrow. We need to work on many things together. Right now, you wouldn’t be able to live on your own. You probably couldn’t even pick your own clothes; you’re used to others deciding for you.”

It’s the ugly truth. The truth Jared doesn’t want to hear and doesn’t want to believe. It’s like a sharp blade burying itself and turning in his flesh. His freedom still remains in shadows, like it’s there but still unreachable. He might be young and not his own person, and although he quite doesn’t want to, he knows Jensen Ackles is right. He wouldn’t be able to function in real life.

Jensen Ackles leaves the room in a few minutes, saying a quiet good night. Jared doesn’t say it back, just waits for the door to close and then rushes towards the closet, searching for pajamas. When he finds what he needs, he changes quickly and without brushing his teeth or having a shower, he buries himself in the bed. 

Before he closes his eyes, Jensen Ackles becomes simply _Jensen_ and Jared can’t believe his luck. He just wishes he had Genevieve there.

*

In the following weeks and months, Jared spends an awful amount of time with Jensen and with other former slaves living in the house. He especially likes Jeffrey, an older man who leaves to live in Manchester after a few weeks. Jared misses him almost as much as he misses Gen, but they’re at least able to phone and exchange emails.

The world Jared’s introduced to is fresh and astonishingly new. It’s not like Ronald had kept him from the light entirely – but still, even those emails are something Jared’s not used to. His reality was just late night talks with Gen, orders, lots of work – and then hours of dreaming. It’s quite hard to comprehend the fact he’s now living those dreams. 

Jared feels stupidly proud when Jensen says it won’t be very difficult with him – he’s young, he’s never been tortured, never been referred to as “it”. All Jared needs to do is to think for himself, which is not really a problem.

He’s his ‘own person’, as Jensen calls it, in a few weeks. _Then_ the problem comes.

Jared is, truth be told, completely terrified to realize how much he enjoys Jensen’s company. It’s stupid, really. At first, he has hard time deciding if he’s actually attracted to him or if he just sees him as a role model in his life. But when their hands suddenly brush, or when Jensen gives him a warm look, or when they just share a small, lop-sided grin, everything in Jared turns and mixes and he knows. He knows he sees a lot in Jensen – a kind person, a savior, a beautiful man –, but he definitely does not see him as his sort-of-father. Not in the slightest.

And so Jared pretends. He pretends to be stuck in his slave-mode. He refuses to talk openly to Jensen about various things; he doesn’t want to pick food for breakfast… long story short, he causes trouble. He tries to do it as smoothly as he can, stealing looks at Jensen’s worried profile once in a while, but of course, it can’t go unnoticed. 

One day, Jensen gives him a worried look and then sighs. “Jared,” he says and it sounds almost like a plead. “You’re not making any progress. I feel – don’t take it personally – I just feel like you’re not trying at all.”

Jared flinches at those words, because he did try and he succeeded – he just doesn’t want Jensen to see. He’s tempted to say it out loud, but he ends up pursing his lips instead. 

They’re standing in the hallway, which looks more luxurious than it should, just a few steps away from each other. They were supposed to go outside and play tennis to ‘relax and get a bit exhausted’, but Jared pretended to be anxious from the whole idea and insisted on staying inside. 

“I’m sorry,” Jared mumbles, but it doesn’t sound convincing at all. He’s staring down at Jensen’s Adam’s apple and suddenly, he has to swallow so he wouldn’t drool like a schoolboy. 

“Look at me,” Jensen says softly and when Jared immediately does so, he’s met with even softer eyes. “Why are you doing this on purpose?”

Okay, so that’s for being smooth. That’s for being a good actor. Jared sucks in a breath and then takes a step forward, two steps, three – reaching Jensen with his body. “I just – “ he can’t bring himself into finishing that sentence. He reaches out instead and rests his palm on Jensen’s cheek, like their roles reversed. “I want you to notice me,” he says quietly and he’s shocked to realize that this is also part of his plan. He wasn’t aware of it – he just wanted to escape the necessary leaving and living on his own part. But he also wanted Jensen’s attention – and he knows that know.

It’s difficult to read Jensen’s eyes, but the simple fact he doesn’t pull away says everything. His lips are slightly apart, like he’s just about to say something important; but in reality, he’s just staring. It’s as if he was pulled towards Jared by an invisible rope and it was ridiculously difficult to fight it.

He wraps his fingers around Jared’s wrist at last and squeezes it. It takes him a few seconds to do so, but he ends up pushing Jared’s hand away.

“I am noticing you,” Jensen says sternly and the softness is gone. Jared knows he crossed the boundaries, but he couldn’t care less – he saw it wasn’t unwanted. “But you’re not trying.”

*

Nightmares are something that happens to people when they’re bothered by something or stressed out. They’ve never happened to Jared before, but he ends up really fucking confused with the whole I-like-Jensen situation and that obviously counts as a reason as well. His nightmares are usually blurry and he doesn’t remember much from them, but one night is different.

It’s a few days after the hallway incident, and the fact Jensen started to treat him differently, with greater distance, obviously makes everything even worse. Jared falls asleep pretty much the moment he closes his eyes, but he wakes up not even four hours after that, gasping and with actual tears running down his face. He remembers everything from the dream. He was at the auction again, but this time, he _really_ didn’t get lucky. There were dirty, rough hands grabbing him. Long fingers pulling at his hair and dragging him by it across the room. There were even dirtier sheets, there was blood, blood escaping his body in small rivers. There was pain; pain so vivid it ran through his body even after the dream. It was dark, so dark, someone kept screaming and there was no one to save him and – 

Jared doesn’t even know how it happens, but he’s suddenly running across the whole house, the sound of his bare feet hitting the wooden floor awfully loud. But he gets there eventually. He gets to Jensen’s room and without hesitation, still shaken from the dream, he knocks on the door.

When it opens, Jared doesn’t take any time to notice Jensen’s sleepy face or his naked torso. He rushes forward and even though he’s the taller one, he squeezes himself onto him and buries his face in Jensen’s neck, breathing in. It doesn’t help, not really – it doesn’t heal his beating heart – but it makes it better.

Jensen’s hands are cold when he rests them on Jared’s shoulder blades cautiously. He pulls them both into the room and closes the door, pushing at Jared’s shoulders until he pulls away.

“What’s happened?” Jensen asks in a whisper and Jared realizes how he must look like a complete mess. With the tears and the messy hair and really, just embarrassing himself.

He drops his gaze. “Nightmares.”

Jensen utters, ‘oh’, and takes Jared’s hand carefully, leading him towards his own bed. Jared falls down onto it easily and Jensen joins him in a way that has nothing to do with anything sexual. It’s really just a friend trying to help a friend. 

Jared spends the next few minutes whispering. He tells Jensen about his nightmare every single detail he can think of, just to let it all out. And Jensen holds him after that. Jared hopes – like a little, frightened child – they would stay like this, but then Jensen slowly untangles himself from their hug and gets up.

“Stay here,” he says and brushes a few lost locks of Jared’s hair from his face. “I’ll sleep in your bed tonight. I hope you don’t get any more nightmares.”

With that, he leaves the room quickly. It’s like he’s running; like he cannot stay in the room or he’ll do something stupid. Jared’s too tired to argue by then. He still feels Jensen’s touch on his face, though, and his sleep is peaceful. When he wakes up the next morning, he can smell Jensen all over him – the scent soaked into his pajamas, it covered his skin. He gets up unwillingly and makes his way back to his room, just to find it empty. His bed is made, but Jensen’s scent lingers even there.

*

Brushing hands again. Touching. Looks. Slow, quiet minutes. Staring instead of talking. Jared bringing breakfast right to Jensen’s door. Smiles. Frowns. Quickened heartbeats. Silence. Want.

It’s nothing and it’s everything. Jared’s done fighting it – but Jensen is not. In his mind, he still believes it’s just a stupid crush Jared’s developed on him and it will fade away sooner or later.

But it’s not a crush. It’s much, much more.

*

The knock on Jared’s door is soft, almost non-existent. Jared is buried in a copy of some John Grisham book, but he hears it anyway. He frowns; he never gets any ‘visitors’ – if anyone wants to talk to him, they have plenty of time to do so during the day.

But in the end, he’s not so surprised to see Jensen there. He would be, if he didn’t spend every night falling asleep to images of them kissing, of them holding hands, of them admitting what this is all about.

“I need,” Jensen spits out and all his elegance is temporarily gone. His cheeks seem flushed and Jared thinks that his sentence really misses _you_ to it. “I need answers. I’m not saying this has never happened, I’ve met boys who tried to… boys I wanted, but it was never – It’s like a can’t even say no.”

Jared’s eyes widen involuntarily and for a brief second, he goes back to his very first night in this house. It still feels like a fresh memory. “Don’t, then. Just, don’t say no. If you want me,” he says and inhales sharply, “then you can have me. With everything.”

Jensen blinks, as if this was something completely unexpected, and then shakes his head. “I can’t have you.”

“But I want you to have me,” Jared whimpers almost desperately. He has no idea when it happened and he isn’t even sure how this conversation started off, but it’s a game. And it’s a game he definitely has to win. He must. “It’s my _decision_ , Jensen.”

And that’s it. It’s like they both forget their doubts or whatever was keeping them apart for so many days, and Jensen’s suddenly rushing forward. Lips push against lips, hungry and needy. It’s Jared’s first kiss _ever_ and he honestly doesn’t even know what to do with his damn tongue, but he lets Jensen take the lead. He opens his mouth with a soft groan when Jensen asks for permission. He sub-consciously digs his fingers into Jensen’s shoulder and pushes even closer, their tongues touching.

It’s everything Jared wanted and more. He’s never felt this close to someone and he cannot compare it to anything, but he definitely knows that this feels right. He lusts for more, his pants becoming tighter with every second.

“Want you,” Jensen moans as he pushes Jared until he’s leaning against a wall. It’s his first actual confession and he fights his leg between Jared’s thighs, brushing their crotches against each other.

Jared gasps and once again, he repeats. “Have me.”

It’s slow. That’s the word Jared uses in his mind. He wants to remember every detail and every touch, but he gets lost the moment Jensen buries his precisely licked and wet finger into him. It’s _so far_ from pleasant, yet he doesn’t want that burn to stop.

Jared finds it almost ridiculous how terrified he was just thinking about Jensen wanting to have sex with him. Now, he would die for every bonus minute and die for a quicker pace all at the same time. 

“You’re just – so damn pretty,” Jensen breathes out against the crook of Jared’s neck, his dick pushed all the way in. He’s holding back – his shallow breathing giving him away.

Jared nods after a few seconds. “Move. Please, Jesus – move. I don’t – I can’t – “ Jensen cuts him off midsentence by rolling his hips and sealing their mouths again.

And so they go on – sweaty bodies brushing against each other, the tip of Jensen’s cock hitting Jared’s prostate every so often. At first, it’s difficult to get his erection back, because it hurts and the pain fills up a lot of space in Jared’s mind – but as he looks at Jensen, his body, his clenched muscles, his hands, it’s possible again.

One moment becomes a blur – it’s just a few minutes, yet Jared can’t believe it’s true. He feels Jensen speed up and his hips under his heels shiver. Soon enough, he realizes what’s going on and that Jensen’s so close it hurts, and he purses his lips and moves his body forward, meeting Jensen halfway.

Jensen cries out quietly when the orgasm hits him, but he doesn’t hesitate. He pulls out and jacking himself through the afterglow, he bows his head and runs his tongue over the tip of Jared’s dick. It throws him off a cliff and he’s suddenly on the edge as well – and when Jensen goes down and takes him as far as he can, hollowing his cheeks, Jared comes without a warning. Jensen swallows it all and seconds after that, he lovingly nuzzles his face against Jared’s inner thigh.

They reposition themselves eventually, lying in an awkward hug.

“I can’t have you,” Jensen repeats quietly in a rather raspy voice after a few minutes.

“You just did,” Jared murmurs and he actually can feel the butterflies going absolutely crazy in his stomach. He’s young and naïve and been through too much – he’s allowed to call this his first love for as long as he wants. And he does want.

“You don’t understand,” Jensen mumbles and places a soft kiss on Jared’s collarbone. “I can have your body – but I can’t have _you_. You’re going to leave soon and trust me, you’ll forget. The world will swallow you and you will leave your past behind.”

“I don’t want to leave. I just – I don’t want this to be my past, ever. I don’t.”

“We’ll talk about that when the time comes,” Jensen shushes him quietly as if he was a father reassuring his son. But in reality, he’s just a man too afraid to actually let go and let love affect him. Because it’s not that he think he can’t have someone – it’s just that he fears he might fall for someone so hard he would let them have _him_.

*

Days go by and no matter how hard Jared tries, they never talk about him leaving again. But he doesn’t have the time to complain anyway – they make love again and again, in Jensen’s room or in Jared’s, and when they’re able to forget about the shadow of separation, they manage to be happy. Yes, Jared’s definitely never been this happy in his life, and he wants it to stay that way.

And that’s why – even though it’s very selfish of him, really – he thinks of a plan. He thinks back to one of the first conversations they had – the one where Jensen told Jared everything about him and what he’s trying to do.

Jensen has friends. Friends who have friends and can tell them about how cruel Jensen is and how he tortures his slaves – and those friends of friends are very good at spreading this kind of rumor. There are many people involved in this business – those who get plane tickets, those who take care of new ID’s, those who are simply interested in murdering human trafficking, any way possible. 

And it’s stupid, but it takes Jared _weeks_ to realize he could be involved in that business as well. He keeps it to himself until that day – that day when Jensen tells him it’s time for him to leave.

“I don’t want to leave,” he says just like he did that first night.

Jensen’s face scrunches up, as if he simply couldn’t handle listening to this. “Jay,” he says and it hurts even more that he’d use that nickname. “C’mon. You knew this would happen. I need your room for other people and – “

“Then I’ll move into your room, if you still want me,” Jared says patiently and as they’re sat on the small sofa in Jensen’s room, he shuffles closer to him. “Look, I know I’m just eighteen, but I like to think I’m not stupid. Like, okay. I know I can be sometimes, but not in this. I’ve been here for over four months,” he says and tries to ignore Jensen’s intense look, “and I can tell you that I love you. And I’m not going to fucking leave you.”

Jensen’s eyes widen as he stutters, “You – w-what?”

“I love you, okay?” Jared rolls his eyes. “And don’t make me say it again, unless you say it as well. I could just – “ he looks around the room as if he was searching for some kind of support almost desperately, and then meets Jensen’s gaze again. “I could help you. I could pretend to be your stupid little slave in public, I could help you with your reputation and…”

“I can’t ask that of you,” Jensen argues exhaustedly, as if this idea crossed his mind multiple times but he always tried to push it away. “Be my slave in public? How could I?”

“You’re not asking me to do that,” Jared points out and grins. “I’m volunteering. You just have to _decide_ if you want me by your side.”

Those following two minutes – or maybe even less – are probably as horrifying as Jared’s first (and last) auction was. He’s scared, scared for his life that Jensen would actually say no. In the end, what if those months meant nothing? What if he was just a fuck, what if Jensen just played it nicely? The silent hesitation and doubts in Jensen’s eyes is almost tangible, and Jared doesn’t dare to say a word. Actually, he’s even afraid to breathe. 

But then there’s Jensen’s hand cupping Jared’s cheek, hot and burning and perfect, and he’s saying, “I love you so much, Jay.”

And really, it’s all set.

*

Jared practically dances out of the bathroom, an impressive bruise under his left eye. They’ve been doing this for exactly three months and he’s kind of used to all those pitying looks he gets wherever they arrive. He’s supposed to be the victim, of course they all pity him.

“You’re getting so good at this,” Jensen comments, stretching out after getting up from his bed. He closes the gap between them and traces the edges of the bruise with his fingers. “Are these eye shadows?”

Jared nods. “Yup.”

“You’re wearing a collar,” Jensen points out, almost as if it left him disgusted.

“You can tear it off of me when we get home, babe. But until then, I’m your pretty little boy who misbehaves from time to time.”

Jensen’s face falls a bit at that, as if all the joking suddenly became serious. His free hand catches Jared’s and squeezes it. “You know I would never do that to you, right?” he asks in a quiet voice and Jared leans closer, pecking Jensen’s lips quickly.

“Of course. Don’t worry.”

“Hey, what’s that?” Jensen asks, curious, when Jared pulls his shirt off into change to something else. He looks back and sees Jensen point towards his collarbone, where another bruise is forming.

Jared smirks and shrugs his shoulders. “Well, not eye shadows. That was your mouth last night.”

They keep on chatting playfully until they have to leave for some business dinner, and they share one quick kiss to give each other the much needed strength. Jared doesn’t mind the act; not at all. He’s as free as he can be, in Jensen’s arms or just knowing he loves and is loved back.

And he realizes, shocked, he’s never thanked Jensen for everything. But he should – Jensen did not just give Jared the opportunity to live; he also gave him a reason.


End file.
